What is Already Free
The image arrived as a vision: past and future converging into the vulnerable point of the present—both protected and entrapped by memory and imagination.
This sculpture emerged from the two quotes above and a memory that came to me:
“His wings were moving up and down slowly, fluttering gently like eyelids in deep sleep. The yellow ended in the most vibrant sapphire, veined, and bordered with black lace. There was not one tear or speck of powder out of place. I couldn’t believe my luck! Here was the most magnificent butterfly I’d ever seen. My centerpiece. As big as my hand, he much too big for my killing jar.
I had read somewhere that you could kill a butterfly by squeezing its thorax. I snatched him lightning fast. It was so easy it was if it was meant to be. As I pressed down with my thumb and forefinger, I was overwhelmed with the amount of force I had to exert. Was that his heart pumping, or was it mine? His wings floundered helplessly.
We stared at each other. Him with his compound eyes, sentient, alien, without judgement. I, a young girl feeling the terror of killing. Bile rose, and a sick feeling blossomed across my chest, as if I were the one being squeezed to death.”
“Within the armor is the butterfly and within the butterfly
–
is the signal from another star.”
–Philip K. Dick
“Our earliest loves, like revenants, have a way of coming back in other forms;
or, to paraphrase Wordsworth, the child is mother to the woman.”
—Margaret Atwood
is the signal from another star.”
–Philip K. Dick
“Our earliest loves, like revenants, have a way of coming back in other forms;
or, to paraphrase Wordsworth, the child is mother to the woman.”
—Margaret Atwood
The image arrived as a vision: past and future converging into the vulnerable point of the present—both protected and entrapped by memory and imagination.
This sculpture emerged from the two quotes above and a memory that came to me:
“His wings were moving up and down slowly, fluttering gently like eyelids in deep sleep. The yellow ended in the most vibrant sapphire, veined, and bordered with black lace. There was not one tear or speck of powder out of place. I couldn’t believe my luck! Here was the most magnificent butterfly I’d ever seen. My centerpiece. As big as my hand, he much too big for my killing jar.
I had read somewhere that you could kill a butterfly by squeezing its thorax. I snatched him lightning fast. It was so easy it was if it was meant to be. As I pressed down with my thumb and forefinger, I was overwhelmed with the amount of force I had to exert. Was that his heart pumping, or was it mine? His wings floundered helplessly.
We stared at each other. Him with his compound eyes, sentient, alien, without judgement. I, a young girl feeling the terror of killing. Bile rose, and a sick feeling blossomed across my chest, as if I were the one being squeezed to death.”
The physical work is built from welded steel bars, nails excavated from my 1900s Amsterdam home, blown glass, and two LED rings driven by Arduino. One LED ring emits a slow heartbeat; the other responds directly to the evolving soundscape.
For the sonic layer, I recorded percussive taps, playing on the metal frame, its “teeth” and body, along with meditation instruments. These samples feed a continually generated SuperCollider composition that layers, modulates, and recombines the sounds into a shifting environment to create an atmosphere with peaks and ebbs.
Support: Jorn van Dijk (SuperCollider & Arduino), Rick Haring (recording), Kees Aafjes (Arduino), Rietveld Metal and Glass workshops.
For the sonic layer, I recorded percussive taps, playing on the metal frame, its “teeth” and body, along with meditation instruments. These samples feed a continually generated SuperCollider composition that layers, modulates, and recombines the sounds into a shifting environment to create an atmosphere with peaks and ebbs.
Support: Jorn van Dijk (SuperCollider & Arduino), Rick Haring (recording), Kees Aafjes (Arduino), Rietveld Metal and Glass workshops.